A Death in the Family
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: Some Losses are too much to bear...


Kim's sobs echoed through the Middleton High School gym, while the rest of the cheer team, even Bonnie, attempted to comfort the distraught girl.

"I...I...I never realized how much, I'd miss..." Her attempt at speech failed, dissolving into racking sobs while Tara gently patted her.

"It's okay, Kim." Tara said, "None of us realize what we have..."

"Not until it's _goonneee!"_ Kim Wailed. "Why did Drakken do it? Why didn't I realize how dangerous he is?" She paused, "He left me alone _with the body!"_

Barkin had been coming into the door when he heard that. He froze. Where was Stoppable? Surely Kimberly wouldn't have come to school if he was seriously injured...in fact the only reason she'd come for the comfort of her friends meant that he was very likely...de-

"Hey Mr. B!"

"CHEESE AND CRACKERS!" Barkin said, almost hitting the roof.

He stared at Ron and then gingerly poked him.

"Not a ghost." He finally said with satisfaction.

"What? Mr. B are you...okay?"

"I was going to ask that about Possible!" Barkin said, "If it's not you, is it your pet?"

"Nah, Rufus is at home—it's the end of season finale for his soap operas."

"Soap Operas..." Barkin decided not to pursue that line of questioning. "But what about Kim? It wasn't the Twins, they're in the office along with Ms. Wilson's evil counter-universe Twin." He sighed. Another class to teach.

"Well," Ron said, "it was like this..."

* * *

"And So, Kim Possible, now you are helpless before my-"

Deet! Kim blinked and held up a hand, pulling out a smart phone. "One minute." She said, and started consulting it. "Oh, My, God! Ron, did you hear about this thing with Bonnie!"

"Um, KP..." Ron said, looking up at the giant doom laser "Is this really the time?"

"Hang on Ron, I've got to tell Mon-oh, she's not accepting calls, I'll just twitter her." Kim paused, "Maybe I should check my Facebook page and..."

Drakken had turned an interesting shade of purple, while Shego was looking at him in fascination. Finally he turned. "Shego, go get the item on my desk. Now."

"Dr. D-"

"NOW!"

"Okay..." Shego said, and cowed by his tone, left.

"Just one mor-" Suddenly Drakken opened the wall to their cage, and unexpectedly fast, snatched Kim's very expensive smart phone out of her hands.

"Hey! That's mine!"

"Yes, and I bet you do this in theaters."

"I...no." Kim said.

"Yes." Ron said beside her.

"Ron!"

"Remember, you were just going to check one thing? We got thrown out!"

"Well, we're going to fix that." Drakken said and turned off the doom laser.

"You're surrendering?"

"Nope."

The Kim saw what Shego was bringing out.

"No, Drakken." Kim said, "I'll listen to your rants...I'll let you escape, I'll let you use the laser!" Her eyes were wide, helplessly pleading as Shego put the blender down and plugged it in.

"This Time! THIS TIME, KIM POSSIBLE!" Drakken roared, "You will learn the price of being impolite and failing to understand that there is a world beyond twitter and Facebook!"

"Drakken, please...Noooo!" Kim started to blubber, as Drakken, laughing madly, dropped the very expensive phone in, closed the lid, and hit...

Liquify. The sound of shredding circuitry mixed with Kim's helpless, defeated sobs and Drakken's laughter.

* * *

"And after that, Kim refused to move until I called her mom and we got her into the van."

"Kim's mother knows where your nemesis lives?"

"It was a part time lair—in the off season, Hench-Co rents it out and they have a lot of medical conventions there—plenty of labs and enough sound proof rooms so the late night mixer doesn't get the cops called on them." Ron decided to not to mention the other uses for the sound proofed rooms, since Kim should never know about _that_... Ron shuddered at the memory of accidentally seeing that video file.

"And all this for a phone?"

"Oh, it's worse." Ron said finally, as Kim's choked sobs once again resolved into understandable words.

"And Mom says we can't get it replaced for t...for tw...for two whole weeks!"

"What...what are you going to do?" Bonnie asked, her horrified expression indicating that she knew.

"Mom says...that it'll be a good time to start talking again...to start having _family time!" _ And at that, her wail, joined with the rest of the cheer-leading team, scaled up and shattered windows."

"Ronald." Barkin said.

"Yes, Mr. B?"

"I could never destroy the property of a student."

"Of course not, Mr. B."

"Do you want to pass all your classes this semester...with an A?"

"What do I have to do?"

"Let this Dr. Drakken know I want to talk to him...about a little part time job."

"You got it." Ron said and then shivered at the unholy glee in his teacher's eyes.

The Ever loving End.

* * *

PS: Obviously after this, Kim got her Kimmunicator tied into the phone network and...

If you're a parent of teens, tell me you haven't thought of this, at least once.


End file.
